I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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