he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize