So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize