That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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