I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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