he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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