I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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