just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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