I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize