My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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