i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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