If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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