did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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