I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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