no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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