actually, I'm a sock model
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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