I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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