i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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