I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He shit in the fireplace
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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