ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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