i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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