Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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