Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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