Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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