So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize