I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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