If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize