My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
people are starting to question the shark bite story
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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