When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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