I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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