Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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