The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize