True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
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Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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