You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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