your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
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The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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