she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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