she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
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that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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