He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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