I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
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I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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