i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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