I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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