My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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