Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
PANTIES FOUND
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