I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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