12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize