i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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