Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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