Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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