its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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