K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize